To get to the coast from Lisbon you have to take a train (if you do not have a car-which we did not) its 40mins and only 5Euros return. There are several 'hotspots' on this train line, and none of them had any surfing going on. So we walked, and walked, and googled, and walked. Nothing. The 'best' beach, which happens to hold championships on was too far to walk, too difficult to get to without a car and so we abandoned it. On the way back I spotted little dots on the horizon and we fled back the way we came and low and behold, by a jetty a nice break with 4 decent surfers on. I loaded up, and shot away......7 shots in is when is when I noticed the film was not winding on. Ripped that out, stuck a new one in and of course the surf died off. One surfer left, the others hung around for a bit and then they all left. 4 shots. Not great.
I needed to get to the other beach but with only a couple of days left, I planned to get up early catch a train back on the Saturday and hike or rent a moped if necessary to the beach. As it turns out there were some taxis hanging around so 10Euro later I found myself having coffee over looking a stunning beach with a world class reputation..... 2 hours and a bunch of surf schools later I had to leave with virtually nothing in the can. All I got was a couple of shots of people walking with their boards and a couple of bodyboarders paddling out-Frustrating. Still, it could be enough, for at least one new shot.......... could be. I have since developed those 2 rolls of film, played around with the images, and there's nothing. Individually the photos are fairly decent, but I cannot for the life of me get them to work like the San Diego ones. I am so annoyed, which brings me to the title of this blog.
We have discussed before that it is so easy to fall into the trap that everyone else is producing world class images, better images, more consistently and frequently. We see photos every day being shared, all over social media, we see the "look i've been awarded this", "I've been selected by this gallery" blah blah type posts every day too... It is easy to feel bummed out about your work, my work. In fact I felt it after this trip. I feel it today as I write this. It has hacked me off that I have nothing new to show, I started to feel that the San Diego shots were just a fluke. Heck, this week Twitter has had an influx of architectural photos on it and I've been beating myself up about this aspect too (the job side).
Fellow Twitterer Jon Wilkening recently started a podcast about creatives and his latest one with Mike Sakesegawa brings up this topic of the visible creative pressure we all go through and its well worth a listen (see below). We must remember (I must remember) that more often than not all we see on Social Media is the success, we ourselves see and live with our 'failures' so it hurts more, becomes easy to beat ourselves up about, but those people sharing all those wonderful photos and art work, they have the downs too, its just more often than not they don't share them.
There's no simple answer to this apart from believing you are on the right track, keep keeping on, try to understand every single person who has ever tried to create anything goes through this. No, everyone is NOT producing better images than you. Me? I'm still going to sulk the heck out of last week, beat myself up, be annoyed by it, threaten to burn, crumple and destroy those negatives.....the only real way that feeling is going to change is by writing about it, sharing my fails and continuing with the project and nailing one somewhere down the line, hopefully.